Port Stolen !!!

In a bold noontime robbery, the entire Port of Brownsville was stolen today. There were no witnesses to the daring event. Workers returning from lunch were stunned to find their places of employement gone. Catching up with Port of Brownsville employees in what used to be the parking lot, we received this reaction: "Where are we supposed to clock in? They took everything! Even the office supplies, and I still have kids in school!" The Port Commissioners who could be reached for comment demanded an immediate investigation. Also gone in the heist was Amfels, a major employer in the area. Representatives of the company were milling about on Highway 48 had this to say,"有正式版的吗？最好有一个正式版的。" George Gavito, the self-styled Supreme Jefe of All Things Security could not be found for comment. Cameron County Sherrif Omar Lucio complained that he does not have the resources to properly investigate the theft. A cursory search of the offices of local politicians yielded no leads."It is long gone to Mexico by now, like everything else.", commented a waiting truck driver.The search continues.